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Money, Please

By August 9, 2014Humor

One day, at work, I received a text message from a colleague. All it said was the following:

Incoming SMS message that says "Money please"


I was busy doing a few things at once, at the time, so it took me about a second to get back into the context. Basically, she had ordered food for lunch, and was looking to collect the cash before the restaurant actually delivered. It wasn’t long before I dropped the money off, and went on with my day. But when I looked at the text message again, I saw more than just a request for action – there was some humor to it, in my mind.

It was the sheer simplicity of the text, “money please,” that spoke to me. To me, those two words perfectly summed up what some unfortunate, bitter men might think of women: that they’re only after money, in life. Though I absolutely didn’t agree with that view of women, and their desires, I did find humor in the fact that those two words, together, were so brilliantly suited to be matched with that stereotype/mindset. So I kept it in mind, and knew that eventually, I’d want to make use of that idea in some way, for humor.

And today’s the day that I show the result of that effort, a book cover:

A book over. A revolutionary guide to dating, more than 10 money-making tips inside!

Money, Please: How the Key to Female Attraction Was In Your Wallet This Whole Time (Photo of woman by

Now, I’m the type of guy that isn’t afraid to make fun of himself when he makes a mistake, as you’ve seen before. But I also like making fun of certain things that I feel are ridiculous, by nature. Stereotypes, in my mind, are pretty ridiculous. How, I ask, can generalized beliefs about a group of people possibly be valid if they were concluded after only encountering a tiny subset of that group’s population? If you were a guy, and all your girlfriends (or boyfriends, whatever floats your boat) happened to be primarily motivated by acquiring money when looking for a partner, then I can understand that in your frustration, you might start believing that that’s the way the world works. I’d sympathize with your unfortunate luck, but in my mind, this can’t possibly reveal anything about women (or men) as a whole. The only thing it might do is start revealing something on an incredibly limited geographical basis, and even then, prepare to adjust your statement accordingly: “most of the women I’ve dated in this area have been primarily motivated by money,” rather than the dramatized “women are always after money.”

Photo by Nick Ares

Photo by Nick Ares

But anyway, it’s by playing with that type of stereotype that I designed the book cover you see above. And though I got really silly by making it a dating book whose contents were focused on finance, I still wanted to make sure that the audience understood that I was aware of my own ridiculousness. Hence, two female quotes on the cover which aren’t exactly supportive, and a few questionable sources of income listed as money-making tips. You know, in case the base premise of the book wasn’t obvious enough.

In the end, I really enjoyed making this book cover, much like I did when I made “Feel Free to Approach”. So much so, in fact, that I started to wonder if I should also write the contents for these books as well, rather than just doing the cover page. So in the future, you might see me go a bit further with these ideas.

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