Back then, it took me up to 2 1/2 hours of travel time to get to school, and 2 1/2 hours to return home. I did this every day, and so I didn’t have much time to relax when I got home. Think about it, I left home – it was dark out. I get home, dark – the only sunlight I saw was during my breaks at school.  I’ll likely focus on my transport stories in another post – it’s a fascinating tale in itself; however, I mention it now because it meant my focus was largely on my core Computer Science classes. Knowing I was quite good in English, I decided I could put it on the back burner for the start of the semester, knowing that there was one big, valuable assignment at the end. As long as I did well on that, I knew my mark would be pretty good. I trusted my skill with the English language, I was sure I could pull this off.

Eventually, I approached the date where the big assignment had to be handed in. I was busy with other classes, and couldn’t devote time to the English assignment until the last three days before it was due. Though I was running out of time, I knew I would succeed – so I planned my last three days:

• Day 1: Finish reading the material, and take notes of areas I want to reference in my paper.
• Day 2: Complete rough draft.
• Day 3: Polish and refine until I have a final version.

It was a lot of work, but I knew I could pull it off – and I did, with one unfortunate detail.

Photo by Tim Riley

While finalizing my rough draft, I found I was missing a section of text that would allow two paragraphs to flow properly. Looking for ideas, I did something I never did before – I used Google to locate similar papers written by others. My intention was to see if anyone else focused on the same points as me, and if they did, how they structured their points. I eventually found what I was looking for – a crucial 3-4 sentences that would perfect the flow of my paper, most of which was taken up by a quote from the book. I copied this text into my rough draft, with the intention of removing it later, and instead writing my own text that covered a similar set of points. This was a fatal mistake – given how much work I had to do, I ended up being so absorbed in the paper that I forgot about the sentences from the external source. When I reached the end of the 3 days, I was pleased with what I managed to achieve – it was a lot of content to produce in three days. I handed my work in the next day, and waited for my marks.

A few days later, our English teacher published her schedule for giving us our papers back – she wanted to meet with each of us. When I went into the classroom, shutting the door behind me, I was expecting to hear mostly positive remarks, but instead, I was told I got 0%. ZERO. PERCENT. She told me it was due to plagiarism, and at first, I was completely stunned – I would never plagiarize… it’s completely against my moral code. Then, it hit me. The external text – I completely forgot to change it. Shocked, I explained the situation to the teacher, but she then replied asking me if that was true, why did I change the page numbers in the (accidentally) plagiarized portion?

Photo by James F Clay

I had a good answer to that, and it was related to the fact that I spent time with a particular individual while in English class. We’ll call him Fred. Fred was fun to hang around with, but it was pretty obvious he was a into the marijuana. I was never into that stuff, but I wasn’t one to alienate people because they had such habits. So, given all our other classes were together, I usually sat with him. Unfortunately for me, I’m convinced that factor played a huge part in my 0%. You see, Fred wasn’t the taking English very seriously, though he was aiming to finish his most valuable assignments, like me. He called me as I was working on my paper – and I provided him with some of my quotes. Just quotes from the book – that, unbeknown to me, had wrong page numbers, because I found some of them online. He later called me back to warn me about this, and so I proceeded to correct the page numbers, so that they were all valid according to my physical copy of the book. Since the forgotten text also had a quote, I corrected it along with the others – unknowingly making it seem like I was trying to cover something up. I later found out that Fred got 0% too, also for plagiarism. I didn’t know the details, but knew that I only gave him quotes from the book, nothing by another author. Regardless of his reason, it really looked bad next to me – considering I had shared with him some of my quotes.

Despite my attempts to explain this to the teacher, she didn’t believe me. It didn’t matter to her that only 3-4 sentences were accidentally plagiarized, even though it was a tiny percentage compared to the overall content I wrote. I remember clearly asking her – considering the ratio, why would I plagiarize? If I need 4 sentences, I’ll write them – that’s nothing compared to the size of the whole paper. It doesn’t make sense that anyone would plagiarize in that scenario. She still refused to budge from her mark of 0%, dismissing what I considered to be a rational, logical argument. Then again, I was really unlucky – the circumstances were aligned against me:

• I was friends with Fred, who really didn’t come off as mature, and who actually plagiarized in the end.
• I corrected the page numbers in the quotes, one of which just-so-happened to be in the accidentally plagiarized text.
• I didn’t do much work up until that point, so the teacher probably assumed I was slacker/irresponsible by nature.

Photo by Luigi Caterino

I tried taking it higher up within the college, but eventually decided to end the frustration. The higher ups told me the incident would be seen as a fluke if nothing else happened in my further education. I decided to leave it at that, but to this day I feel anger and frustration when I think about it. Nothing is worse than being accused of something you would never do. When you try to tell the truth, no one believes you – might as well have been trying to convince someone from a jail cell. I had to drop the English class at that point, as the assignment was too important – my chances of passing were almost impossible. Had I tried to pass English, I would have had to spend much more time on it – and to get what… a mere 60%. It didn’t see the point.

So, as you can imagine, this changed my views on a lot of things. The most obvious: now whenever I temporarily copy external text into a document, I make it bold, size 20, and red. That way, there’s no chance I can mistake it for my own content.  I’m also more cautious about who I associate with.

Share/Bookmark

The cabinet was almost completely full – each package you see in the photo had another identical one right behind it. Needless to say, we didn’t finish all the cookies – I had to give them away to friends and family.

Share/Bookmark

A few days ago, while eating supper, I felt a pain when closing my jaw – it originated from a particular tooth.  I was able to trigger the pain every few tries, and I thought I chipped it in some way, maybe revealing a cavity or something. With this in mind, I looked for a new dentist in my area. Since I’m a fan of user reviews and ratings, I felt I should start by considering those that had positive reviews. Google Maps is actually pretty good at this – I found two local dentists with 10+ ratings, most of which were positive. I called the one with the most positive ratings, and set an appointment – it was today at 1:00pm. I had them schedule a cleaning, and afterward, a check-up with an extra slot for a cavity repair, as I figured I had one.

by cwalker71

When I went to my appointment, everything seemed to be going OK. The woman doing my cleaning was actually a great person to talk to, and she didn’t mind answering my questions. After examining and cleaning my teeth she was able to spot a potential of 4 (yes, four) cavities. I was a little freaked out, and I was hoping the doctor himself would clarify this – maybe she was wrong about 1 or 2 of them? What you need to understand is that at one point in my past, about 2 years ago, I was told I had 7 (yes, SEVEN) cavities – and I was totally shocked. Prior to being told I had 7, I always brushed twice a day, and used Listerine daily. After explaining this to my dentist, I was told that floss was probably the missing element, so I fully accepted flossing every day – hell, I even started flossing twice a day, to be safe. Knowing I’ve been flossing 1-2 times a day, and brushing 2 times a day, I never expected to have more than 2 cavities. So here I was, at a new dentist, and this girl was telling me I might have 4 new cavities. I was, again, a little shocked, but I thought she knew what she was doing – so I waited until I saw the dentist, I figured he would confirm it.

The dentist proceeded to examine my teeth, along with another assistant (not the same girl as before), and I immediately noticed he was a pretty cool guy to converse with as well – reflecting what I read in the reviews. While he was working on my teeth and gums, I noticed a few weird personality traits, and they led me to be concerned. The first one happened when he poked at something – and I said “ow” and asked him what he did. He said that he simply poked at my gum, and that I overreacted. Overreacted? Excuse me? If it hurts, I’m going to react accordingly. That was the first sign that this guy had some quirks. I also began to notice that he worked very fast, and seemed a bit hyperactive – he didn’t waste any time at all. I sensed he was beginning to get a little impatient with me, when I didn’t reply quickly enough to his queries and directions. I was still fine with all this – I thought the guy was a little weird, and that was fine by me. The next thing that raised a flag was one point where he stopped working and said “What’s wrong with you? You seem to be really nervous, at least in your mouth area – the rest of your body seems relaxed.” I just shrugged that one off, but I knew that this was primarily because of his overall speed and brewing impatience. Still, despite these little weird moments, I still had nothing against the guy – at least not at that moment. He went on to tell me that I’d need 6 (yes, SIX!!!) cavities repaired. Oh, not only that – he felt I would need braces too, and that I should start using dental guards again – when I sleep. My reaction to this was along these lines: I thought it was ridiculous that a guy that took care of his teeth as much as me would have 6 cavities, but I accepted it. The braces – I wasn’t looking forward to it, but his arguments made sense – if I needed braces, I’d get braces. Whatever. The dental guard – again, not a problem for me. If I needed to wear it at night, then I would – no problem. The cavities were the biggest shock here, as I thought I had corrected my problem when I began obsessively flossing. I really want to point out that I didn’t doubt his professional competency – I was just shocked with the results.

by cwalker71

Now, here’s where it got complicated. I was scheduled to get a cavity repaired, but I was a little shaken when I was told I had to get 6 repaired – 3 today, 3 another session. The doctor asked me which side he should start with, so that he could start right now. I felt like I was being rushed, and told him I’d like to have some time to think, as I wasn’t expecting so many cavities – it was a shock. He told me something along the lines of “You’re procrastinating, just choose – and we’ll get to work”. I then said I rather wait a couple days, and then come back. He said something along the lines of  “If you choose that route, that’s where it ends. You had an appointment, and now you’re forfeiting it – we’ll have no way to fill it.” I couldn’t bring myself to believe that the doctor would abandon me as a patient just because I wasn’t feeling up to doing it immediately, so I told him I was sure I wanted to take that approach, again, because I was feeling a little overwhelmed and rushed. He said it was fine, and went into his office. I then went to the front desk to pay for my dental cleaning, and as I was filling up some sheets for the secretary, the Doctor’s assistant came up and said, to the secretary, “You’re not supposed to give him another appointment.” At this point, I was hit with the truth – but I still couldn’t believe it, so I went to see the doctor – and sure enough, he said that I was banned from ever coming back. He said if I was regular, he’d give me another chance, but since I bailed on him in under 24 hours, he didn’t feel he should keep me as a patient. He felt this compromised my integrity, and believed I would do it again, wasting more of his time. I tried to explain to him that this was the first time I ever behaved in that manner, and then just gave up and said: “Alright, man. Your decision. Bye.”  I was also told that my papers could be faxed to another dentist, at my request. I didn’t see the point in dealing with the dentist beyond that point – he made his choice, and if his was so insistent on making me his bitch, and rushing me through it – then I could surely find a more understanding doctor. I paid for my cleaning, and then left the place – evidently, for good.

by ChristopherSchmitt.com

Looking back, I can’t help but laugh at this experience… but at the same time, I’m really taken aback at how rough of a doctor that guy was – I’m not referring to his work, more so his human interaction skills, or lack of. I felt rushed, and a little overwhelmed with the news of 6 cavities. I was perfectly willing to get them fixed by the same doctor, but he was obviously offended that I was going to postpone the “repair” appointment. A little strange too – I was there for my main appointment, it’s not like I completely bailed on them. If I was told in advance he reacted so brutally to such a “cancellation”, I would of probably decided to go elsewhere. He couldn’t get it through his head that I simply wasn’t mentally well with doing it so quickly – some people would need even more time than me, but apparently those people are destined to be rejected by that doctor. I thought to myself, while there, how he would be with kids – how unfortunate for them… having a father that lacks basic human understanding and compassion. I’ll rate him according to my experience on Google Maps and probably RateMDs.com. Also, at least now – I can get a second opinion about the work that needs to be done – if I said that as my excuse for wanting to cancel my second appointment, he probably would of banned me for that too. How is that right?

Update: Rated him on Google Maps, and RateMDs. His name is Jean Pierre Loiselle.

Share/Bookmark

Consider the following screenshot:

If you know me in real life, you’ll know that this is a pretty decent representation of what I look like. Not perfect, but still impressive. After trying our regular faces, we decided to try and get the game to accept unusual facial expressions. I had a great laugh when I saw the end result of my first experiment:

I kept that “Custom Head” for a while, and it resulted in a great set of photos. See the gallery below.

[View with PicLens]

Share/Bookmark

Let’s review this quickly:

• I like how my first question challenges the logic of his whole operation, and the next one aims to strip him of his disguise.
• Notice how the area under the word “May” in “May I have these toys please?” is scratched? I probably initially wrote “Can”, but then I figured that “May” made more sense. Nice.
• “Meet me in my room. If I am asleep wake me up.” – I’d like to think this was a trap for this Santa fellow. Maybe I was hidden, waiting to de-mask the man as he attempted to wake me up. This was probably not the case.
• That “signature” is awful, and is nothing like my actual signature. Nice try, 9 year-old me.

Share/Bookmark

First off, he isn’t afraid of water – at all. In fact, he has a weird attraction to it. Whenever I turn on a faucet, he runs right over, and when he can’t see what I’m doing, or can’t maneuver to get a better view, he just looks up at me and meows. The reaction is almost like what you would expect when you open up a can of cat food, except it’s for water. He does have a bowl of water accessible at all times, and the water is changed once a day; yet, it seems he actually prefers water from the sink. After realizing this, I started partially filling up the sink with water before I leave for work – I know for a fact he much prefers drinking from there. My theory is that he thinks it is fresher than the water he gets from his bowl, and that is usually correct. It also turns out that he doesn’t mind being almost completely submerged in water. I found this out when I had to give him a bath  – he just stays still and looks a little confused. After the bath is over, he looks slightly irritated, though… but I can’t blame him.

The next thing I found unusual was his reaction to being transported around. See, on the weekends, my parents usually drop by and bring him over to their place. I realized early on that this was a good idea, seeing as it gives him contact with other cats – and it also helps make up for the fact that he’s an indoor cat. My parents have five cats – three females and two males. To move him around, I had to come up with some unique transportation methods. The default cardboard box idea never worked well – he would just freak out on the drive over. If we let him loose in the car, he’d be very calm, but would explore way too much – too dangerous when we are driving.

The next idea I had was to put him in my jacket,with his head popping out – this worked exceptionally well. He was pinned between my jacket and me, but he could still see what was going on. A new trend began – transporting the cat was as simple as putting him in a jacket, and supporting his weight with one arm.

This approach worked well for a long time; however, he eventually grew larger, and I had to come up with a better way to move him around. I thought about using a bag – but my backpack was pretty expensive, so I didn’t want to use that. Also, if I wore the backpack as it was intended – the cat would be out of my reach. Since he’s an indoor cat, I can’t risk him escaping in-transit. Instead of a backpack, I grabbed a re-usable grocery bag, and tried putting him inside. He didn’t seem to mind. I could walk around, and he’d make like a bag of potatoes – rarely moving – rarely even taking a peek from the opening. After a few field tests, it was proven that the bag idea worked just as well as the jacket. You can even tie the bag shut, and he’d just stay calm.

Another interesting thing about my cat is that he also stays pretty calm when I put him on my shoulder. I’ve actually had a cat before that would stay on my shoulder for many minutes – at times, up to an hour. So, naturally, I began training my cat in the same manner. With that in mind, whenever a delivery person arrives at my door, I always place my cat on my shoulder while I interact with the person. My cat just lays there and watches curiously as I give the guy my credit card and we finish off the payment. As a bonus, it usually amuses the delivery people.

Share/Bookmark

Kept for comedic potential

So next thing you know, we’re heading back home – and every now and then, you see people looking at us weird. Picture this… a grown man was driving a car, my father, in fact – but seated next to him – was a giant bear. My idea. We were to pick up my mother, and I figured the bear would look pretty funny sitting in the front passenger seat. Just seeing people’s expressions, and ultimately, my mother’s reaction – made the price of 20$ all worthwhile.

So… let me just confirm what you’ve all been thinking. No. I’m not a regular guy – I’m a fan of weird and quirky things, especially if it ultimately will make me laugh. If others laugh, that’s just icing on the cake.

For example, I started working as a software developer, full-time, in February 2006. After about 4 months, I decided to spice up my desk a little bit. It was just so regular, so dull. It all started with a couple stress balls – you know, those squeezable, colorful balls with printed smiley faces on them? Something you’d see over at Google. Now, my buying these balls had nothing to do with stress – I didn’t need to take out my anger on small, smiling faces – I didn’t need to crush them to feel better. I just always appreciated the “Google culture”, to an extent. A few months later, I had enough stress balls to fill the majority of my desk’s filing drawer. My desk was packed with them, and I made sure to buy some for my co-workers. It reached a point where people were buying me stress balls of all sorts, to further my collection. Some of the weirder ones I was given were ones intended for use on Halloween. I’m talking balls meant to look like eyes, skulls, or worse.

A small fraction of the stressballs I accumulated

At this point in time, since I moved to another office, most of my desk toys have been retired to my drawers, rather than remaining on my desk. I kept some around, though. They are true to my sense of humor, and my playful nature. Even so, these days, some of my co-workers will randomly find an foreign stress ball grinning at them when they arrive in the morning. I’ll just randomly do that… it makes people laugh, and laughter is a great thing. For now… I feel I’ve mastered the toy desk – my next goal is to master the plant desk – my new office has windows. I want to make myself a little jungle. Want to talk to me? Bring a machete. Unfortunately, I have yet to buy plants for work. This is mainly because I usually buy big, leafy plants – and I’m currently not too enthusiastic about exposing them this weather (during transport).

I’ve got other similar, smaller experiments going on in my apartment. First, I currently have a fake skull in one of my kitchen cupboards. If it detects motion, its eyes start to glow, and it talks. You can also turn off the motion detect, and have it only turn on manually. It usually says something really corny, and then it laughs all evil-like. It was meant to be used as a typical Halloween prop. My original idea was to keep it in the cupboard, and when people were over, act like nothing was strange about it. One time, after having it on motion detect for a while, I went to get a bowl, and I momentarily forgot it was there. It startled me – I jumped, had a good laugh, and turned off the motion detect. I have yet to get any more good laughs out of the skull, but I’ll think of something eventually.

My second apartment experiment involves my medicine cabinet. It goes something like this: when someone uses your bathroom, they technically have full access to your cabinet. You can’t really stop them – they’re using the bathroom – they have privacy. If you have any embarrassing diseases, conditions, etc – your medication and ointments – they are usually here. I’ve heard of a study that claims most people will, in fact, snoop in your medicine cabinet. Knowing this, I began to think about how I could exploit it. I thought: what if I were to put some really strange stuff in there? A rubber ducky. Binoculars. You know, just something completely out of place, or overwhelmingly embarrassing (by intention). I have yet to do anything for this one, but I have more ideas in mind.

Share/Bookmark