A Close Encounter With Accidental Theft
On one particular work day, I decided to go shopping for some groceries with a coworker. It is something we actually do fairly regularly, as we work in the heart of downtown Montreal, where stores are abundant and easily accessible. After visiting a mainstream grocery store, we decided to visit an organic produce shop. Not a random one, mind you – as my mother just-so-happens to work there during the day. Given that the store is so close to where I work, I have a tendency to drop by fairly often. As such, I know the owners and other employees to a degree, and we get along pretty well. They even started giving me a 15% discount on everything I buy, which is essentially the same rebate my mother gets.
Photo by Steve Loya
They’ve always had problems with theft, especially since stores started selling re-usable grocery bags. To counter theft, they have cameras installed throughout the store, and they also ask that customers leave their bags at the front desk when they come in. Usually, when I visit, I don’t bother taking off my backpack. I don’t like having to worry about my belongings, and, naturally, I know I would never steal. It seems they agree with the latter, as they never asked me to leave my bag with them.
So, as I walked into the store on this particular day, I was carrying a re-usable grocery bag, one filled with groceries from another store. Without really thinking about it, I walked in as I usually did, and walked towards the refrigerators, seeking a particular product: Slow Cow. Slow Cow is pretty much the opposite of Red Bull, both in function and in name. It is a product that will help you relax, rather than help you stay active.
Photo by Francis Bourgouin
So, once I saw the can, I took it off the shelf, and dropped it into my bag. It took about three seconds for me to realize what I had done. I placed the drink in my bag, amongst other products from another store. It could certainly be interpreted as an attempt at theft. Upon realizing this, I immediately retrieved the can from my bag, and at that precise moment, the owner turned the corner, and greeted me. While still holding the can, I greeted him with enthusiasm, all the while thinking how bad the situation must look. I’m still holding the can, and he appeared at a perfect moment to see me remove it from my bag. It took most of my mental strength to suppress the smile that was forming on my face. It was something I would have expected to see on Seinfeld. Thankfully, the owner seemed to assume nothing was odd, which was exactly the case. Had it been shown on Seinfeld, I suspect a different outcome would have been written. It just all seems so illogical, so ridiculous… why would anyone target such a friendly store, one that is also close to his work and his family? It just suggests a significant lack of analysis and thought, to the point where one would suspect mental instability. Seems like a perfect scene for George…
Two Inexplicably Dangerous Characters
Yesterday, as I was writing an e-mail to one of my employer’s clients, I encountered a strange bug with Excel. The e-mail I was writing included instructions that the client should perform, and one of the steps actually involved creating a CSV file, which would then be opened in Excel. Before sending the e-mail, I decided to step through the instructions myself, and make sure everything worked as I expected. When I reached the CSV step, I found that while I could export it fine – I couldn’t open it in Excel. I’ll guide you through what followed using a really simple example CSV:
ID,NAME
1,KARA
2,GAIUS
3,SAUL
As you can see, the above CSV contents are completely valid. However, when I tried to open it in Excel 2000, I received this error message:
When I tried to press the OK button, Excel just gave up loading the CSV. While I didn’t know what they meant by “SYLK“, I assumed something was wrong with the CSV export. Maybe there was an invalid, invisible character in the file, preventing Excel from parsing it – perhaps making it think it was another format. To test this theory, I used one of my favorite features in Notepad++, one that allows me to see all characters, even those which are normally invisible.
Using the feature, I could tell that there were only carriage returns (CR) and line breaks/feeds (LF), which are perfectly valid for a CSV.
With that possibility ruled out, I decided to try the same CSV in a newer version of Excel – the 2007 edition. When I went to open it, I was unfortunately greeted with the same type of errors:
Despite these errors, through the selection of the appropriate dialog options – I was at least still able to view the CSV within Excel:
At this point, however, I was really intrigued – so I googled the original error message I received in Excel 2000. I found a Microsoft article explaining the behavior, while also offering a workaround. When reading the article, I could barely hold in my laughter:
SYMPTOMSWhen you try to open a text file or a comma-separated variable (CSV) file, you may receive the following error message:SYLK: File format is not valid
CAUSEThis problem occurs when you open a text file or CSV file and the first two characters of the file are the uppercase letters “I” and “D”. For example, the text file may contain the following text:
ID, STATUS123, open456, closed
Note This problem does not occur if the first two letters are lowercase “i” and “d”.
WORKAROUNDTo open your file in Excel, open the file in a text editor, and then insert an apostrophe at the beginning of the first line of text.
How to Insert an ApostropheTo add an apostrophe to the beginning of the first line of text in your file, follow these steps:1. Open the text file in a text editor, such as Notepad. Click before the first character in the first line of text. Press the APOSTROPHE key on your keyboard (‘).2. On the File menu, click Save. Quit the text editor. You can now open the file in Excel.
Source: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/323626
I think you need to be a developer to truly appreciate how funny this is. I had to mention this bug to the client, because the likelihood of the ID being the first text in the file was pretty high. Even then, I mentioned they should read the Microsoft article only if they encountered the problem. No way am I going to explain the awkward workaround myself.
So, I confirmed that the bug was still present in Excel 2007. I just hope that Microsoft fired the developer that came up with the SYLK detection logic. Assuming that a file is a particular type based solely on the first two characters (“ID”) is a big risk, especially when those two characters are part of the alphabet, and are also common in IT. I’m guessing there are complexities I don’t see… or at least, I hope so. Either way, their workaround is really unbelievable… they’re actually telling people to add an apostrophe as the first character of the file. I’m aware that Microsoft is a large complicated beast with many different teams involved in releasing bug fixes, but this one is just so ridiculous.
The Road To Nowhere
Due to my choice of profession, I tend to spend a lot of time using computers. Consequently, I work with a lot of applications – that means I see lots of different user interfaces. Some are good, some are bad – but every now and then, I find something in between. Sometimes, it perfectly showcases the developer’s sense of humor.
For example, here’s what the “Go To” dialog looks like in Notepad++. You can access it by pressing CTRL+G.
The dialog features an "I'm going nowhere" button, which closes the dialog.
Not sure that’s the best design for the dialog – but I appreciated the humor. :)
Yahoo! Answers: Coughing With Your Mouth Closed
Yet again, I was looking for some information online, and I found this ridiculous question and answer.
"Can u cough with your mouth closed with out any thing happening?"
While difficult to take seriously, Yahoo! Answers does at least offer a good laugh.