On one particular day, I found myself waiting for a lift at a MARTA station. Since I had nothing else to do, I began reading a sign that described some of the rules and regulations behind the MARTA. I was particularly curious about whether they allowed eating or drinking on the trains – it clarified this, by saying it was “against the law” to do so. It also went on to list additional items that were against the law, and in general, they were informative.

But… wait a second, what’s that in the bottom right corner?

It against the law to: Assault MARTA Employees

Upon reading that, I realized my plan to punch a MARTA employee could never be brought to fruition. Way to ruin my plans, MARTA.

In all seriousness, though, I always enjoy seeing unnecessary warnings in the United States – they just seem so silly to me. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a fan of the States, but here in Canada, law suits are fairly rare. As a result, warnings are usually present when they are not immediately obvious. In the States, this is usually not the case – it’s like they want to cover all their bases, regardless of how self-evident the warnings may be. For the sake of humanity, I would hope that they didn’t have to add that particular entry after someone assaulted a MARTA employee, and tried to argue that it was a legal to do so.

Reviewed by
Joseph Pereira

The video itself is cute, but aside from that, is fairly ordinary considering everything else that exists on YouTube. That is, until you read the description:

Basically, this is a video of my cat (Nashville, or Nash for short) I filmed some years ago. In the opening sequence, Nashville is on my carpet playing with a yellow balloon. As the suspense heightens, it becomes clear to the viewer that something is going to transpire between the cat and the balloon. POP! The balloon pops, most likely due to puncture via a tooth, although one cannot rule out a claw as the culprit. As the video draws to a close, Nashville tries desperately to understand what has happened to his precious yellow balloon. The video ends on a note of uncertainty and despair, as Nashville comes to realize the consequences of his actions – he has destroyed something beautiful, and there is nothing he can do to bring it back. I am most proud of this video because of the profound character development in both Nashville and the balloon.

The author took what was a fairly simple video, and described the events as if they were part of an epic storyline, leading to a significant lesson in the life of his cat. I had a really good laugh reading that description, and thought some of you might enjoy it as well. I always appreciate seeing something simple explained in a very detailed, professional manner – it’s a special brand of comedy.

Step 1

Using the ruler, measure the length of the paper towel roll. In my case, it turned out to be 11 inches long. Remember this number – it will help you make additional binoculars in the future, without requiring that you measure each time.

Step 2

Using the calculator, divide the length of the paper towel roll by two (2). In my case, 11 divided by 2 resulted in 5.5, which is exactly half the length of the roll. Using the pen (or pencil), make a marking on the roll at this measurement.

Step 3

With the scissors, carefully cut the roll in half using the marking we created in Step 2. In my case, I decided to use scissors that barely worked. This had the effect of making the cuts look rugged, and thus, more manly.

Step 4

Now that we have two separate rolls, place them next to each other on a flat surface, as they would look if they were binoculars. Once they are lined up properly, tape them together at the middle, all the way around.

Success!

Congratulations, you have successfully made binoculars out of a paper towel roll!

I’m not sure whether this is a mistake, now that I think about it. I can see why it would be beneficial to show that all their items have savings applied, regardless of the amount. After all, it made me react positively, that is, until I noticed the amount saved. Either way, it appears the Americans get a better deal… blame Canada?

Glad we don’t have to deal with that anymore.

If, by some chance, you are still using Internet Explorer 6, I highly suggest visiting this browser ballot screen. From there, you can install the latest versions of many popular browsers, including Internet Explorer 8.

Photo by Steve Loya

They’ve always had problems with theft, especially since stores started selling re-usable grocery bags. To counter theft, they have cameras installed throughout the store, and they also ask that customers leave their bags at the front desk when they come in. Usually, when I visit, I don’t bother taking off my backpack. I don’t like having to worry about my belongings, and, naturally, I know I would never steal. It seems they agree with the latter, as they never asked me to leave my bag with them.

So, as I walked into the store on this particular day, I was carrying a re-usable grocery bag, one filled with groceries from another store. Without really thinking about it, I walked in as I usually did, and walked towards the refrigerators, seeking a particular product: Slow Cow. Slow Cow is pretty much the opposite of Red Bull, both in function and in name. It is a product that will help you relax, rather than help you stay active.

Photo by Francis Bourgouin

So, once I saw the can, I took it off the shelf, and dropped it into my bag. It took about three seconds for me to realize what I had done. I placed the drink in my bag, amongst other products from another store. It could certainly be interpreted as an attempt at theft. Upon realizing this, I immediately retrieved the can from my bag, and at that precise moment, the owner turned the corner, and greeted me. While still holding the can, I greeted him with enthusiasm, all the while thinking how bad the situation must look. I’m still holding the can, and he appeared at a perfect moment to see me remove it from my bag. It took most of my mental strength to suppress the smile that was forming on my face. It was something I would have expected to see on Seinfeld. Thankfully, the owner seemed to assume nothing was odd, which was exactly the case. Had it been shown on Seinfeld, I suspect a different outcome would have been written. It just all seems so illogical, so ridiculous… why would anyone target such a friendly store, one that is also close to his work and his family? It just suggests a significant lack of analysis and thought, to the point where one would suspect mental instability. Seems like a perfect scene for George…

Reviewed by
Joseph Pereira

After reading it, I realized it was one of the most polite notices I’d ever read. It also had a sense a humor that I usually only expected to see in Google-authored pages and applications. Good job, Michael, and everyone else at AdBlock.

NOTE: As a web developer, I am very hesitant to use ad blockers, as ads are an important source of income for website owners. I usually only enable them when I reach a site that I feel is completely obnoxious with their placement and overall use of ads.

It lets you know when someone is preparing to send you a message, even if you weren’t having a conversation with them. My initial reaction was that it was pretty creepy, but at the same time, I could see some interesting possibilities.

First, if you see an incoming message that you’re not interested in answering, you can choose to make yourself scarce, thereby granting yourself the possibility of pleading ignorance. Certainly not something I condone, but I still found it intriguing.

Second, you can send a message to the person before they finish theirs. That way, you’re exploiting the creepy nature of the feature to creep someone else out.

Will these possibilities help your productivity? Probably not, but they certainly amused me for a few moments. Though, to be honest, not as much as the introduction of Trillian’s Rick Roll Detection feature:

ID,NAME
1,KARA
2,GAIUS
3,SAUL

As you can see, the above CSV contents are completely valid. However, when I tried to open it in Excel 2000, I received this error message:

When I tried to press the OK button, Excel just gave up loading the CSV. While I didn’t know what they meant by “SYLK“, I assumed something was wrong with the CSV export. Maybe there was an invalid, invisible character in the file, preventing Excel from parsing it – perhaps making it think it was another format. To test this theory, I used one of my favorite features in Notepad++, one that allows me to see all characters, even those which are normally invisible.

Using the feature, I could tell that there were only carriage returns (CR) and line breaks/feeds (LF), which are perfectly valid for a CSV.

With that possibility ruled out, I decided to try the same CSV in a newer version of Excel – the 2007 edition. When I went to open it, I was unfortunately greeted with the same type of errors:

Despite these errors, through the selection of the appropriate dialog options – I was at least still able to view the CSV within Excel:

At this point, however, I was really intrigued – so I googled the original error message I received in Excel 2000. I found a Microsoft article explaining the behavior, while also offering a workaround. When reading the article, I could barely hold in my laughter:

SYMPTOMS

When you try to open a text file or a comma-separated variable (CSV) file, you may receive the following error message:

SYLK: File format is not valid

CAUSE

This problem occurs when you open a text file or CSV file and the first two characters of the file are the uppercase letters “I” and “D”. For example, the text file may contain the following text:

ID, STATUS

123, open

456, closed

Note This problem does not occur if the first two letters are lowercase “i” and “d”.

WORKAROUND

To open your file in Excel, open the file in a text editor, and then insert an apostrophe at the beginning of the first line of text.

How to Insert an Apostrophe

To add an apostrophe to the beginning of the first line of text in your file, follow these steps:

1.  Open the text file in a text editor, such as Notepad. Click before the first character in the first line of text. Press the APOSTROPHE key on your keyboard (‘).

2. On the File menu, click Save. Quit the text editor. You can now open the file in Excel.

Source: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/323626

I think you need to be a developer to truly appreciate how funny this is. I had to mention this bug to the client, because the likelihood of the ID being the first text in the file was pretty high. Even then, I mentioned they should read the Microsoft article only if they encountered the problem. No way am I going to explain the awkward workaround myself.

So, I confirmed that the bug was still present in Excel 2007. I just hope that Microsoft fired the developer that came up with the SYLK detection logic. Assuming that a file is a particular type based solely on the first two characters (“ID”) is a big risk, especially when those two characters are part of the alphabet, and are also common in IT.  I’m guessing there are complexities I don’t see… or at least, I hope so. Either way, their workaround is really unbelievable… they’re actually telling people to add an apostrophe as the first character of the file. I’m aware that Microsoft is a large complicated beast with many different teams  involved in releasing bug fixes, but this one is just so ridiculous.

For example, here’s what the “Go To” dialog looks like in Notepad++. You can access it by pressing CTRL+G.

The dialog features an "I'm going nowhere" button, which closes the dialog.

Not sure that’s the best design for the dialog – but I appreciated the humor.  :)